expectations.

“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply… And the people began to think differently. And the people healed…”
Kitty O’Meara

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the start of 2020. The welcome of the new decade that brought so much hope. I had the strongest sense that this was going to be “my year” as I celebrated that hope, independence, and most of all, freedom.

The determination to let go of the struggles of 2019 was so dominant. I was determined to let go of things that had caused me anxiety, to let go of uncertainty. I was determined to walk into 2020 more confident and stronger than ever.

Here’s the thing about expectations, they often lead to disappointment.

I’m actually a very positive person. And that statement seems far to pessimistic to come out of my mouth. But the more I experience of life, the more I realise how true it is.

Life is just far to unpredictable to have expectations.

You can hope for the best and enjoy life as it takes it’s course. However, if you expect the “best”, then something is bound to disappoint you along the way. This is something that often catches me out.

When I was having the time of my life celebrating the new year, I had just moved back to Christchurch to save money, secured an epic temp role, and had a one way ticket booked to Europe on the 31st of July. Life was about to get exciting, and I expected this year to be the best yet.

Fast-forward to March, and now there is a global pandemic, borders are closed, New Zealand is in a state of emergency, and no one is allowed to leave their home unless it’s essential.

My naive, highly optimistic self in January could never have imagined that something so devastating would happen. Especially not in 2020 – the year of great expectations. And, of course, I’m disappointed.

It’s a tough lesson to learn and I can sense my perspectives changing. What does “living life to the fullest” mean to me? What should my priorities be? What are my unshakeable values? I have an opportunity to reflect deeper than ever – without a multitude of distractions.

This time in isolation has the potential to change my life completely.

“And the people began to think differently. And the people healed.”

Published by maeghankristy

Just an average kiwi girl who likes to talk too much.

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